Thanks for reading this today. The fact that I still average over 70 reads per blog is truly a gift in my life. You're great reader. And you should know that.
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Well I'm still on vacation. And as this is my first vacation of the new year, I really want to feel like a vacation. So I've been dressing like this...
Yep. That's me. In a Hawaiian shirt. In the middle of January. The two times that I've left my apartment since I've been back to Ames, I've gotten looks and comments about dressing this way. Friends have called me a hipster, which is probably untrue, as hipsters are usually seen as cool by somebody. I've also been called an old man, which is probably closer to the truth. It dawned on me, however, just how much more I feel like I'm actually on vacation when I'm wearing clothes like this. Because no one should feel like they're on vay-cay in sweatpants and a mustard stained v-neck that I've had for five years. They should feel unemployed. Well that's what my vacation update. Moving.
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My day hasn't consisted of much. I woke up and drank coffee. I read some John Owen. I watched Anchorman with my roommate Orion (he'd never seen it before, what?) and I talked to my mom about our trip to Omaha tomorrow so my parents can meet my girlfriend.
Yeah. I have a girlfriend.
And I don't have any illusions that I have anyone who reads my blog that isn't my friend on Facebook or Twitter follower, so I'm guessing this isn't news to anyone. But I just wanted to announce it, because well, it's a pretty positive thing you could say. I'm one of the last people that deserves a girlfriend. I've messed up in life and I've lied and I've hurt peoples' feelings and I've just been a mess. And yet I get to have a girlfriend. And she's lovely, to boot. Her name is Whitney. She loves Jesus. She's hilarious. She's short. And what may be one of her best traits is that she's chosen to identify herself with me, which I can only assume is rare gift.
Today marks the two week period in our relationship. I actually originally typed out "two week anniversary", but I think when people use anniversary for anything less than a few months, they're just trying to make their relationship look more serious and committed than it is. We've dated two weeks. And what's been a recurring theme in our discussions is that we've really just ruined each other's lives. See, she was entirely content with being single. In spite of her being surrounded by friends who were married, engaged, or dating someone, she was at a point where she was truly OK with being single. Enter Jon. Not two months ago, I swore off women. I was EXCITED about being single forever. I'd never have to worry about getting a good job, and I'd be free to go wherever I wanted. I was free and untethered. And then she walked into my life. Now we knew each other for 14 months before we started dating, so it's not like she just showed up. But she's here now. If you're interested in how it all went down, get at me, I'll be happy to tell you.
While I do really like her and so far this blog has pretty much just been about her and Hawaiian shirts, neither are my point. In my last blog I mentioned a person who used to be very important in my life. He was the Old Jon. He ran my life and dictated most of my decisions. Fortunately, and by God's grace, he's dead (or, at least terminally ill). It's just been so polarizing to look back at who I used to be and then see where I am now. Realizing that all those times I swore off women with spite in my heart and beer in my belly, that God had different plans. Those nights I lay collapsed on my bedroom floor weeping into the rug (it's currently in my living room, and I'm looking at it) despairing about being alone, God had other plans. Those days I would sit and ponder just how fun it is to be single, and that I wasn't going to play into all that Christian nonsense about dating and I was just going to be serving the Lord alone until I was dead, God yet still had other stuff planned. And I'm not here to say that marriage is an inevitability, because a lot can happen. But it took me this long to realize that since I've been redeemed by the God of the universe, that I'm okay. I didn't need to be single, but eventually I wanted to be. I don't need to have a girlfriend, but I'm choosing to. And I think therein lies the secret. That God desires our contentment, and as long as they glorify him, he loves our decisions. He puts up blockades in our lives to keep us from having the things we want before we're ready. You see, Whitney and I could've potentially started dating in November of 2011. And if we had, I have little doubt that we would've broken up by now. We were both in terrible places, carrying more baggage than the other would've wanted to handle. It took fourteen months of God pushing, prodding and pruning to get us both to a place where we were okay where we were, and then by his sense of humor he drew us together. He's funny.
And so while I'm going forth into the first Godly relationship I've ever been in, I'm constantly reminded that it is God that must be saught. That while I'm blessed with having a woman in my life, that God must be my first love. If I'm ever again reduced to a sniveling pile of tears on this rug, he will still be my redeemer. And if I ever again submit to the Enemy and the Old Jon rises once again, God will be the one who will again tear me from the hand of sin and evil. He is my first love and my last and everyone in between simply points to those truths. .
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Well, both of my roommates are here now and I have yet to hang with both of them simultaneously, so I'm going to do that. Thanks for stopping by and we'll see you again real soon.
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