Well hey.
It's late.
Super late, in my opinion. It felt late 3 hours ago when I went to bed, exhausted from my day. But that didn't stop me from waking up 2 hours later, and feeling wide awake. So I'm drinking some water. And eating an ice cream bar; screen door wide open to let the cool air in. Listening to the "ticky-tack" of the trains as they pass. Hoping to pass out on this couch sooner than later. Here's where I am, blog-wise.
--
My last blog was a huge success. In less than two weeks, it received more views than my oldest blogs have in 5 months. My guess is, that its title had a lot to do with it. "The Perfect Girl", was a hit. With mostly girls, I'm guessing? I'm by no means suggesting that these girls were interested, in fact I know most were not. But the title expressed something romantic, and I just go to assume that if the tie goes to the runner (baseball rule), then the romance goes to the women. And while several people praised me for the blog, calling it things like "brave" and "sweet", I've come to realize a few truths about it, and how it relates to me.
I'm not here to say that the things I wrote about were untrue, or that they "weren't me". What I am going to do is explain myself a little better, without the "lovey-dovey" perspective I had before. If my feelings are to be genuine, then I have to let "The Realist" out. He's someone that is almost always at the forefront of my life. Anyone who has talked to me for any decent amount of time would should know that. He goes by a few other names, "The Cynic", "The Pessimist", and my favorite, "The Disillusioned Optimist". I'm turning him loose. Here ya go, buddy. It's all yours.
--
Thanks Jonny, old friend. Well everyone, let me first say that I really kind of hated that last blog. The whole "putting myself out there" thing really isn't my style. I prefer to just kind of be there. Exist and float around. So that last blog, what with its talk of pursuing girls, and marriage, and taking definitive steps to be a husband and a missionary, well, it just wasn't me. I've come to learn that the more people know about you, the more accountable to are to them. But ol' Jon, with his big heart and cockeyed optimism decided to throw that stuff up, and you probably read it. Jon doesn't always think things through the best, and what he was feeling just kind of overflowed into his blog. I'm usually there to get things back to normal, but I was out getting my dry-cleaning. Sorry everyone. Here's what I'm thinking you should add to what you've read about Jon's "perfect girl"...
First off, Jon just might have made it seem like he was casting a pretty big net on the whole dating scene. He used a phrase that went something like "every daugher of God is beautiful in her own way", or something like that. And while even I believe that's true, I think there needs to be some clarification as to what he meant. Jon wasn't saying that he finds every Christian girl as a suitable partner. He doesn't find them all attractive. But what he does is see value in every Christian woman, as a daughter of the most-high God, which is a credit to God firstly, and then women. To break it to you as easy as I can, most girls just don't make Jon tick. And Christian girls are no exception. So as much as I don't want this to be a "tell every girl that Jon's a total jerk and you should stay away from him", I want to give you a peek into what exactly it is that he values. Again, this isn't going to be easy for me. You're welcome.
As of late, Jon's come to fall in love with brokenness. He's seen a fair share of it in his own life, and the life of his friends and family. While many of you are thinking "what the H could someone love about brokenness?", understand that Jon sees it as opportunity. Behind all brokenness is a chance for improvement. Heck, if Jon hadn't moved forward from his brokenness, he'd have put a bullet through his head a few years ago, and I wouldn't be here to entertain you as I am, though I digress. Jon has seen, in the last few months, that Christian women who've been broken at some point in their lives, and aren't ashamed nor try to hide it, are the most real and desireable women in the world. Because they've learned to rely fully on God. Jon believes that while things are going "well" that people are less inclined to seek God. It's through trial and pain that leads a person to the mercy seat of God's throne, that it's humility that casts one's burdens on Christ's sacrice, and it's anguish that allows the Spirit to heal. THAT'S where his heart is. THAT'S what he finds alluring. Women who have been through stuff, and can still stand and say "It is well with my soul", that's Jon right there, and that's not going away.
I think we can all mostly agree, though I disagree more than most, that Jon is a funny guy. He seems to have a decent grasp on where humor comes from, he can do some impressions, and yeah, he's pushed the envelop a few times and has offended people when he wanted to (those days are, for the most part, over), but all-around, he's got a humorous wit. He values that in women. Girls who are witty and dry. Now this is, as Jon realizes, a nitpick, and it by no means necessary. But he likes it. I won't sugar coat that, as he might be inclined to do. Jon wants a girl he can make smile and laugh, and wants the same in return. Moving on.
--
You're ruining me. Realist, you're ruining me. I'll be single forever, because you're making me out to be some weirdo. I might as well start buying cats.
--
That's where you've got it wrong, buddy. I'm helping you. Helping, as I would be inclined to say, clear some of the riff raff. Jon, the last thing you need are more Christian friends that are girls. You've got enough. Moving from the friendzone is difficult, and it's just easier if that doesn't happen to you. Lookin' out for ya, big guy. Hold it together. I'm just going to include a list of likes and dislikes for the rest. Hope it helps.
Likes: dark humor, rap music, sweaters, Fyodor Dostoevsky, the New York Jets, Kanye West, making crock pot food, hookah, Queen, Wendy's, melancholy music, Oklahoma City Thunder, pipe smoking, Jesus, Ray-Bans, coffee.
Dislikes: Max Lucado, most country music, The New York Giants, soup, super happy upbeat music, The Miami Heat, judgmental Christians, and most of all, MAYONNAISE.
I'm going to leave with that. That's part of the real Jon that you need to know, whether prospective or not. That's Jon. Okay, I think I've done enough damage. Back to you, old bean.
--
...Ugh.
Sorry about him. He can be a real jerk. Well. I hope there are still people out there reading. And willing to be my friend. And I hope that cleared some stuff up. I feel better now. Whew. Sometimes letting that old jerk out is what's best.
--
I heard that.
--
Sorry. I love you, man. You make me, me. Well everyone, it's 3:32 in the morning. It's time for sleep. Thanks for hanging in there with me people.
No comments:
Post a Comment